FROM NORTH AMERICA SYNDICATE, 300 W 57th STREET, 41st FLOOR, NEW YORK, NY 10019
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BOB FRANKEN
FOR RELEASE TUESDAY, DEC. 23 2017
BY BOB FRANKEN
(Note from your deservedly humble writer: The Centers for Disease Control, not usually a place you find controversy, has stirred some up by listing seven terms that shouldn’t appear in CDC budget documents.
They include “Transgender”,”Diversity”, “Vulnerable”, “Entitlement”, “Fetus”, “Evidence-based” and “Science- based”.
It’s time for my annual “Night Before Christmas” rip-off. So in the typical holiday spirit of defiance, I’ve decided to include them all.)
THE SPITE BEFORE CHRISTMAS
It’s the time around Yuletide, and for many it’s wonderful
Except if you’re poor or otherwise vulnerable.
That’s not the case for the Trumps. They don’t have that far to go,
To be nestled in luxury at their own Mar-a-Lago.
It’s so obscenely expensive, the conclusion is evidence-based
The opulence there is certainly decadence-laced.
And that’s probably what some critics have meant,
About those who are members and their sense of entitlement.
Only one was awake now, it was the national leader —
POTUS, of course, who’s a maniacal tweeter.
Cyber-ranting this night about all of his grudges:
Jeff Sessions, Rex Tillerson, the rest of his drudges.
And congressional leaders, ridiculing them all,
He was pleased about tax cuts, but there was health care, the wall.
He resented when “fake news” made him look downright smelly
Requiring some cleanup from his Chief of Staff Kelly.
Still many think he’s a bigoted liar,
Which he blames on the ones that he’s had to fire.
Mike Flynn comes to mind, and so does Steve Bannon.
The former may rat on him; Steve is a loose cannon.
There’s Comey, the Mooch, and Spicer and Priebus
There are sleights back from the transition, his term still unborn, just a fetus.
All the failures he’d dealt with, from Trump University,
To his White House staff now, which is lacking diversity.
He was pecking out venom about all the defiance faced
Because of his policies that are not always science-based.
There suddenly arose a clatter outside, a really sharp noise not something duller,
He thought for an instant, it was a raid by Bob Mueller.
But lo and behold when he looked out to observe,
He saw a guy standing there who looked like a perv.
Was it Mueller, he wondered, through all his confusion,
Seeking absolute proof of his Russian collusion?
Or was he really another sleuth seeking some answers,
Trying to substantiate that Trump was a sexual harasser?
Could this guy in a red suit, and a big sleigh that flies
Be someone like Harvey Weinstein in insidious disguise?
But he looked oh-so-jolly, he had to be real,
Not someone who’s fictional, like from “The Art of the Deal.”
He might really be Santa Claus, also known as St. Nick
And not someone up to the usual tricks.
Santa looked at the roof, but was obviously nervous,
Because of the snipers there stationed by Secret Service.
Instead, with his bag, he loosened his grip
To hand it to a bellman, and give him a tip.
But now Santa Claus was in the Trump residence,
He could give out his presents with no more impediments.
They were actually identical, Congress provided the gifts
With its new tax legislation it was more wealth for the rich.
Claus headed outside, where got the valet
To bring back his vehicle, his reindeer-led sleigh.
Soon he flew out into the skies of December
Yelling “Happy holidays, all. By the way, I’m transgender!”
