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FOR RELEASE TUESDAY, DEC. 29, 2015
THE NEW YEAR PERVERSE VERSE
BY BOB FRANKEN
It’s the annual time to try new solutions
So we jot down, again, our New Year’s resolutions.
It seems oh-so-futile and it may be, I fear,
Since most of these pledges are at best insincere.
Speaking for all media, though of course I don’t, I promise we’ll do better, but of course we won’t.
We’ll continue to report each and every word dump
From, you guessed it, our fetish, our guy Donald Trump.
He’s embarrassed our country, but will we offer perspective?
Of course not — we thrive as he squeals his invective.
We don’t get embarrassed, we’re immune to self-hating,
The Donald is simply too boffo for ratings.
In the political world, he’s not the lone creep
A promise to trash each of them is a pledge we won’t keep.
This campaign charade pretends we have a voice,
But let’s face it, dear people — we have no real choice.
The differences are phony, when all’s said and done,
We go with Tweedle Dee Dee or select Tweedle Dee Dum.
Those who believe in rocking the boat,
Soon discover that rich folks will drown out their vote.
That’s dismal reality, a dark situation,
It would mean real hard work to salvage our nation.
We’d have to take chances, and to most that’s just crazy,
We’d simply get crushed — besides, we’re too lazy.
By political hustlers, we’re looked at as rubes,
As they take the USA straight down the tubes.
Still we follow, even campaign for some Ms. or the Misters,
And then get downhearted ’cause they’re really all grifters.
It infects both the sides, the Rs and the Ds,
Spouting off little sound bites designed to deceive,
Offering silly solutions or ones too ambitious,
Or in Donald Trump’s case, ignorant or just vicious.
It’s worse than past years, we’re more openly bitter,
In New Media’s age, particularly Twitter.
Before now the moron, the real ignoramus,
Would keep quiet. Now he spouts off, defiant and shameless.
He can rant what he wants, the most vile or forbidden,
For the most part, the Internet keeps his identity hidden.
Again, you reformers, the answer is terse,
He won’t get much better, he’ll only get worse.
But hey, let’s go through the annual evolution,
And sure, why not try a few resolutions?
Less eating or drinking and other addictions,
Can’t hurt as we battle our own tough afflictions.
But when it comes down to society’s ills —
In particular politics, taken over by shills —
Perhaps we can salvage things, though it’s hard to see how.
Whatever chance we have, we need to start now.
So as we stumble along into 2016,
We must know our system badly needs fixing.
The country needs more than a mere resolution,
The effort will equal a new revolution.
It’s a tough uphill climb, though, we might not have what it takes.
It’s a test of democracy: Is ours real, or is it a fake?
© 2015 Bob Franken
Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.