February 4, 2008
The Candidates Are Such Cards (Bob Franken)
@ 12:00 pm
Forget NBC. The real “Must See TV” tonight is Hillary’s “National Town Meeting” on the Hallmark Channel. That’s what I said, the HALLMARK Channel.
I’m oh-so-sorry that you’ve been ill,
Sick of me and my husband Bill,
Tired of all the soap opera drama,
But please don’t vote for Barack Obama.
The shame of it is that Oprah Winfrey’s new channel is not yet up and running; Obama would have his own cable outlet. He probably blew his whole budget on his Super Bowl ad.
Did you miss it? Well, it was not the one that featured the Victoria’s Secret model that said it was only after the football action that “the real games begin.”
She was talking about Super Tuesday. Right? That is the real game, although it looks like it won’t determine the champions of the primary season like we once thought.
It looks like the Democrats’ maneuvering will continue for a while as the two candidates alternate between being nasty to each other and warm and fuzzy. Unless the pollsters are wrong, and we know that NEVER happens, this Democratic cognitive dissonance should go on for a while after both find reasons to claim victory Tuesday.
You’ve gotta hand it to the Republicans. They make no bones about the fact they hate each other’s guts. Of course John McCain has been open about those he despises for a long time. What sets him apart is that he, as the joke goes, stabs them in the FRONT. The result is he’s made a lot of enemies along the way. And that’s among his fellow Republicans in Washington.
Even though it’s fair to ask whether the wheeler-dealers who infest our nation’s government deserve his tirades, maybe McCain should also buy time on the Hallmark Channel next week.
I know I’ve been mean,
And vented my spleen,
But I need you this time
So please be my Valentine.
All of this campaign silliness is enough to get some people to watch Bloomberg TV.