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ACRONYM CREATION TACTICS (ACT)

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BOB FRANKEN
FOR RELEASE TUESDAY, JULY 10, 2018

ACRONYM CREATION TACTICS (ACT)

For those who thought “acronym” was a city in Ohio, it is not. According to my handy dandy online dictionary, an acronym is “a word formed from the initial letters or groups of letters of words in a set phrase or series of words and pronounced as a separate word, as Wac from Women’s Army Corps, OPEC from Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries, or loran from long-range navigation.”
Or MAGA, as in Make America Great Again, the Donald Trump campaign slogan splattered across red baseball hats worn by millions of Americans, mostly white, mostly intolerant, who have bought into the Trumpster’s garbage that America should return to the glory days where their rigid biases oppressed everyone else. Actually, the Trump cabal is already hard at work on his re-election effort, and that means a new slogan for 2020, something that captures the regressive spirit of his first term and, more importantly, fits on a red baseball hat.
In case you were wondering, the caps are red because that’s what Vladimir Putin’s wants. That’s totally false, of course, entirely made-up, fake news. Putin couldn’t care less about such paraphernalia or such minute details. He’s more of a big-picture guy when it comes to controlling the 2020 election, just like he was in 2016. But Vlad will have an opportunity to get a full report from Donald. The two of them are on a collusion course to hold their summit next week in Helsinki.


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Don’t look for hats to show up in their public agenda. Or acronyms. Those will be left to the American wordsmiths, who are already toying with Keep America Great. There are a few legal problems with that one (when are there not a few legal problems?), and there is some uneasiness over whether it’s such a great idea to have a slogan that will shorten to KAG. Of course, it certainly would be better than Grow America Greater, or Heighten America’s Greatness. Imagine how much fun we’d all have with GAG or HAG.
Obviously, though, Donald Trump’s motto-meisters do have a sense of humor. Back in May, the tweet executive ordered them to come up with model legislation for Congress to consider that would widen his assault on the world’s trade structure. They decided to call it the United States Fair and Reciprocal Tariff Act. Need I spell out the acronym for that one? But don’t worry, it’ll never, uh, pass anyway.
All the Trump wrecking crew has accomplished thus far is antagonizing just about every nation that has been woven over generations into the tapestry of commerce agreements that govern the way we buy and sell each others’ products. To be fair, there is no doubt that the United States frequently has been taken advantage of as these tangled rules and regulations have evolved. Clearly, Americans sometimes take a bath. But you know what they say about babies and bathwater. Thus far, when it comes to trade, our current chief executive seems Hellbent to Annihilate the Very Orderliness of Civilization (HAVOC). In the process his vandalism is Antagonizing Real Simply Everyone.
Except for those in his automaton base; the hordes in this country who feel they have been left behind by changes over the decades. They are particularly receptive to the oppressive nostalgia of Make America Great Again. The trick for Republicans will be to sustain their resentments so that they’ll continue to rise up in anger at progress and turn out at the polls in numbers exceeding those on the other side who are infuriated by the entire Trump experience.
Given our attention spans, it will be a battle of the slogans. Continue America’s Trends against those who are Disgusted Over Grossness. It very well might be a CAT and DOG battle -- but it could end with a whimper. It would not be the first time the Trump resister feels too browbeaten and stays home on Election Day, to Wallow Uninspired Scared and Submissive, to be, once again, a WUSS.

© 2018 Bob Franken
Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

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