January 4, 2016
THE NEW YEAR PERVERSE VERSE
FROM NORTH AMERICA SYNDICATE, 300 W 57th STREET, 15th FLOOR, NEW YORK, NY 10019
CUSTOMER SERVICE: (800) 708-7311 EXT. 236
BOB FRANKEN
FOR RELEASE TUESDAY, DEC. 29, 2015
THE NEW YEAR PERVERSE VERSE
BY BOB FRANKEN
It’s the annual time to try new solutions
So we jot down, again, our New Year’s resolutions.
It seems oh-so-futile and it may be, I fear,
Since most of these pledges are at best insincere.
Speaking for all media, though of course I don’t, I promise we’ll do better, but of course we won’t.
We’ll continue to report each and every word dump
From, you guessed it, our fetish, our guy Donald Trump.
He’s embarrassed our country, but will we offer perspective?
Of course not — we thrive as he squeals his invective.
We don’t get embarrassed, we’re immune to self-hating,
The Donald is simply too boffo for ratings.
In the political world, he’s not the lone creep
A promise to trash each of them is a pledge we won’t keep.
This campaign charade pretends we have a voice,
But let’s face it, dear people — we have no real choice.
The differences are phony, when all’s said and done,
We go with Tweedle Dee Dee or select Tweedle Dee Dum.
Those who believe in rocking the boat,
Soon discover that rich folks will drown out their vote.
That’s dismal reality, a dark situation,
It would mean real hard work to salvage our nation.
We’d have to take chances, and to most that’s just crazy,
We’d simply get crushed — besides, we’re too lazy.
Continue reading "THE NEW YEAR PERVERSE VERSE" »
December 31, 2015
HAPPY NEW YEAR ON MSNBC, OR MAYBE NOT SO HAPPY
Begin 2016 with me at 9:30 and 11:30 AM Eastern on MSNBC, to watch as the New Year gets off to a stumbling start.
December 24, 2015
THE ANNUAL YULE FOOLS
FROM NORTH AMERICA SYNDICATE, 300 W 57th STREET, 15th FLOOR, NEW YORK, NY
10019
CUSTOMER SERVICE: (800) 7087311 EXT. 236
THE ANNUAL YULE FOOLS
BY BOB FRANKEN
’Twas the night before Seasons
Greetings throughout our house
Not a creature was online,
Using touchscreen or mouse.
The children had nestled; fell asleep, they got listless,
As the TV set blared about the “War Against Christmas.”
“Who cares,” they’d cried out, “about which holiday?”
“Just make sure we get big gifts and use credit to pay.”
But Mom in her kerchief, and I in my Skivvies,
Were still up and watching the loudmouths on TV.
When out on the lawn there arose even more clatter,
Some sled had crashlanded, the contents all shattered.
I wasted no time, this was not any trifle;
I grabbed ammo clips and my trusty new rifle.
I fired off some rounds; it was actually fun
I’d never had reason to use such a gun.
My aim was so poor I could not hit a lick
Which meant that I missed, did not kill old St. Nick.
He was pretty shaken, he was actually crying,
His sleigh smashed in the snow, and him nearly dying.
‘Twas already a grind, nothing happy or great,
There were still hard feelings lingering from the debate.
The Republican reindeer only wanted to go right,
And together they offered one real scary sight.
In the lead was The Donald, and he was a fright,
He’d brought his own mob, really hateful, all white.
He was followed real closely by the nose of Ted Cruz.
Kissing up to Trump’s crowd was part of his ruse.
Then Marco, and Carly not flying but slithering
And Carson seeming lost with his mumbling and dithering.
There was Kasich and Rand Paul, who’d be of good cheer,
Except that on this flight they took up the rear.
With Christie and Jebbie, who was not having fun
As the third of the Bush deer who’d gone out on this run.
And some of the others weren’t even around,
They were barely in sight, they were playing the lounge.
Continue reading "THE ANNUAL YULE FOOLS" »
December 23, 2015
THURSDAY MORN ON MSNBC
On the day before Christmas let me give you fair warning:
In the 7 o'clock Eastern hour during the morning,
Just what will you see on MSNBC?
Yes folks, you guessed it, you'll be watching me.
